Archive for the ‘television’ Category

It was a Sunday morning when Arnold and I met  for the first time. We were in our own living rooms. His, was in the high rise on Manhattan while mine was in Salt Lake City, Calcutta. The most striking ingredient of that memory is his big smile which used to render a display of the most innocent and chocolate invaded set of pearls.

Arnold, was my best friend for several years to come. Our friendship grew stronger with each passing Sunday. If not for his accent (which I had to initially struggle to keep up with) , we had hit it off, almost immediately !! He would do most of the talking and I would be the one breaking out into loud hilarity. I loved everything about him . He was my childhood role model. I even begun dressing like him. There was the cowboy hat ( from the Book Fair) and bell bottom pants (green corduroy) that I had to be in, all the time.  I would  even cross my arms (like him) across my chest during all conversations. It did not matter who I was listening or talking to, I would always strike the “Arnold pose” with all my weight  on the right leg. Strangely Miss Biswas found that extremely annoying (during “drawing class”) and promptly sent me out to bake in the summer heat !! But that is a different story !!

I am one of the several thousands, whose earliest memories cherish loving hues from Diff’rent Strokes. It was my introduction to anything American. I was too young to see beyond the innocent wit  that the show contained. Today, as I look back at those times and the show, I realize that it was so much more !!  All the years that Diff’rent Strokes was on air, it carried a banner of love, of acceptance and happiness. And Arnold,was the star of that show !! Everyone loved him !

Arnold (Gary Coleman). passed away on Friday, May 28th 2010  This is a farewell note from that little boy  sitting on the cold mosaic floor with his eyes glued to the black and white of the television screen, as Arnold slides down the wooden railings. Adieu !!

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Thanks to the densely retarded media world – Tiger Woods’ press conference about his alleged affairs with 25,781,230,732.00 girls got a lot of publicity !! Apparently there were reporters from as far east (matter of perspective) as Japan, to cover this “very important” news event, though if you were not as half drunk as I am, you would think, that they would cover the Winter Games or the aftermath of Haiti relief efforts instead. Now how about that ? Do you think Mr.Baby Face can touch celebrity excellence ? Would the world stop salivating and try to remember that every celebrity’s private life is his/her own business ? Would Tiger come out of the Woods again?

You guessed it right !! I was up all night yesterday. Making corrections to the speech that the Tiger had to deliver this morning in Florida. He did not get time to thank me personally !! He was busy doing Betty  pretty important stuff himself. I must warn you ….what follows is a glimmer of im mature  insanity and if you are wearing pace maker(s) or suffer deep rashes on your skin from rat poison …….you should probably consider revisiting this blog at a later time ….. !! If you still want to face it …. do not complain ……I did warn you …!!

beginning of transcript………

Good morning, and thank you for joining me so early after a wild night..Many of you in this room are my girl friends. Many of you in this room know me intimately. Many of you have cheered topless for me or you’ve worked with me or you’ve supported me through my infidelity.

Now every one of you has good reason to demand some cash reward to be critical of me and my body odor . I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, Screw You !! I am not in the least deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish self pleasure behavior I engaged in with all of you hot babes.

I know people want to find out where the sex tapes are how I could be so selfish and so foolish not to sell them on Ebay. People want to know how was it to party with porn stars  I could have done these things to my wife, forget her name Elin, and to my children. And while I have always tried to be a private strip dancer person, there are some parties things I want to  dance with Paris Hilton and her muah muah say.

Elin and I have started the process of discussing about getting a new maid and the damage caused by the golf clubs my behavior. As Elin pointed out to me we already have “18 ” ass holes, my real apology to her will not come in the form of words but a diamond bracelet and onion rings; it will come from my reality show Cheating in the Bunker behavior over time. We have a lot to discuss about pre extramarital affair agreements; however, what we say to each other will be available for sale during Christmas on Amazon  remain between the two of us.

I am also aware of the pain in the privates my tiger “balms” behavior has caused to all the honey bunch Cheerios those of you I have “played with” in this room. I have let you use my iPad down, and I have let down my pants fans. For many of you, especially my hooker friends, my performance behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who have been paid out work for me, what the f@#$ are you still doing here?? I have let you down personally and professionally. My bad breath behavior has caused considerable worry to my mistresses business partners…………..

much blah blah ensued ……and then finally …….

That also means cheating some more relying on others for help with fake excuses. I’ve learned to seek athletic support from my underwear company peers in therapy, and I hope this evening someday to return to the club scene that support to others who are seeking for some quick bogies help. I do plan to return home in the morning to golf one day, I just don’t know through which window when that day will be.

I don’t rule out getting high on weed that it will be this year. When I do start drinking and gambling return, I need some extra cash to make it to Hooters my behavior more respectful of the game. In recent weeks, I have received many thousands of free condoms in the mail e-mails, letters and phone calls from the Mothers Against Drunk Pregnancy people expressing their deepest desires good wishes. To everyone who slept with me has reached out to me and my family, let’s do it again and again and again thank you. Your fetishes encouragement means that now I can have my own naughty movie the world to Elin and me.

I want to thank The Hilton, Marriott, Red Roof Inn, Motel 6, Sulabh Complex PGA Tour, Commissioner Finchem and the belly dancers players for their patience and understanding while I keep scratching work on my private parts life. I look forward to seeing you all in Room 420 my fellow players on the course.

Finally, there are many people in this room who I have not yet slept with, and there are many people at home who believed they would sleep with me in me. Today, I want to ask for your phone numbers, emails and Facebook ids  help. I ask you to find a nice hotel with a spa room in your heart to one day believe in UFOs me again.

Damn, I need to work on my strokes!! Thank you.

 end of transcript…….

As you must have guessed by now, the man is really ashamed of his actions !! I would say he is bleeding and wants to make an reentry. Wait ….that came out all wrong !! What I am really trying to say is …. let us pretend (for a second or so)  that we believe in every word he said or thought he said !! That does not make sense either. …..what the putt !!

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The last time we checked, our 6:14 had been cancelled and we had been re-booked on the 7:50,which was now delayed by couple of hours.Terminal B at EWR is probably one of the most unexciting terminals of all times.I had two options …finish the last quarter of my book or…… finish the last quarter of my book.What I did not know about, was a third available item on the menu – to relax in the NWA® lounge (courtesy:platinum member coworker).I made it a combo (the junk food effect) picking all three of the above.I even got myself some snacks while we lazed around dreading a potential cancellation (didnot happen).As we walked through the gate, I was told that I have an upgrade.I am now in 2D. I told myself – “now that I can live with, more leg room….nice”……and that was not all…..

As people started to come in, (clearly tired of the delay and the wait) – a lot of them smiled as they got close to my seat.After some doubt that they were glad to see me (but why??) or about my upgrade (really??) I realized that they were actually greeting the person next to me. I held back my ever daring curiosity and consented to politeness by not turning to look (stare rather) at who he was.That attempt lasted for about half a minute, before I had to pretend that I was getting comfortable. To give it a real touch, I slid my obese (lack of)frame on the leather and in effect got a glimpse, and almost immediately told myself – “I know who he is …he is one of the guest speakers at the Bill Maher show !!

There was this girl (she addressed him as Professor) who shook his hands and he whispered back at her – “take care now”.Then the band (from Jamaica) did the fist bump with him (each one of them). While I had been “doing nothing” in the lounge, an impromptu performance near the gate for the “professor” and other passengers had been a real hit.They were on their way to a music festival in Chicago.He wished them luck as they got lost in the crowd towards the end of the aircraft.There were few others who wished him on their way to their seats.Meanwhile I sent a text message to my friend -“sitting next to guest from the BM show, cannot figure out who he is”.Got a response – “Cool”.Yeah,that helped. ..I have to confess, for a minute there, I wished I owned one of the fancy gadgets (read:iPhone®, Voyager® etc.) where you can Google® and not have to wait till you “connect” otherwise…..and then I drifted off into my “in transit” slumber.

I finally looked him up and a cauldron of shame, embarrassment and “do not know what else to add” feelings got stirred!! I had spent close to three hours sitting next to Professor Cornel Ronald West and I had no clue who he was.All I could relate him to, was a television talk show.I felt shallow (the word I was looking for) at my lack of knowledge.Currently a Professor at Princeton University he is extremely respected for his political and moral insight.For someone, who had to actually find out who he is, I do not want to replicate that information from another website on my post. I had not spoken one word to him and that will be one of those regrets which I will not get over easily…..!!

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One more time….well for the time being!! It has not been easy for her …especially to try and “sound” brave and maybe “smart” after the historic win …even though the “real her” got exposed through the “cracks in the cranium moments”during the infamous interview. While the million years old guy was slamming his head on the refrigerator door, (as the news about her wardrobe makeover leaked) and her clear lack of experience “glowed bright” under the vice presidential debate lights, the rest of the “out of adjectives to describe” world was still cheering her on.

Ladies and gentleman, I give you …….Sarah Palin !!

All I have to do is say “attention” and she will take it from there ….her latest fling is going to be all good for CBS® especially after it is none other than Letterman who has “ruffled” her Alaskan feathers …. I remember how it used to be hot and pretty late in the night in Chennai and how I used to wait up to watch his show (reruns of the U.S version of course )… I still try not to miss any episodes (especially when I am on the road) . Incidentally I watched this one as it aired (the same night) and laughed with the in studio audience at his top ten ….I am a fan of the show and the man …. and I am not stupid … and here is why I have problems with her making all this noise …..so here is a list of questions I have for her …….

Governor, ………

  • Please explain to us (if you get time from hogging the media attention) …how is it O.K. that your “teenage daughter” is threatened by a late night show joke (that is why it is late night…it is not supposed to be watched by the Young and Restless) and but you seem to be not so bothered by her “act of love” which redefines her lack of responsibility like so many other teenagers….
  • Please also break it down for me as to why is it O.K to use tax payer money to waltz around with your whole family during the presidential campaign ….
  • Would you be kind enough to explain as to why pre-election gag was acceptable (you needed them votes so the humor factor was acceptable, right??) though clearly you have started to work on your 2012 come back preparations (read : “controversial and soul stirring disapproval” in a matter of hours of the actual show, which you clearly mistook as a couple of days …

Here is a toast to you for your “knowledge of Russia and foreign policy“…your hunting from the choppers …your Joe six pack jokes … you have proven to the rest of the world how easily, the average American and his intelligence can be taken for granted ….and evidently exploited pretty well ….. !!

This post is not a political outcry…it is a “mirror and reflection experiment” of a certain section of the populous and almost all of the media which is easily distracted by cheap stunts ….for the record… Letterman did apologise…. in his own “62 year old host of one of the leading late night shows with an intellectual following way” and the dust should have settled a long time back… but we do not like that do we ….in a world where a recession is “taxing us” and health insurance costs are “killing us” we need the filler news to keep us busy …… or don’t we ??

This is is another one of his Top Tens …. pre election ..when she did not “mind” the jokes…..!!

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They wait in lines for hours …with their Shuffles®, their Walkmans®,their moms, sisters and friends ……and sometimes with nothing or no one else except with a lot of positive energy. Smiling and sometimes crying … hoping to get to the next round … and the next and the next.No one complains about the heat in the waiting area,the missed tests in school, the lost pay on a day away from work or the long train ride from the unknown town.Some do not do well.They beg ….”one more chance Ma’m”….they cry on national television – “next year I will be back”. Some thrill the judges so much that they stand on their feet to applaud.But end of the day they are all winners….and I will explain why !!

Meet Ajesh….winner of the Airtel Super Singer 2008® – a music talent show aired on Vijay TV® – a Tamil channel from the Star TV® group .Congratulations!! But this post is not about him …..it is about something bigger of which both he and I are a part.His role was to perform and mine was to sit in and enjoy his performance !! In spite of this vast difference in the nature of our participation,I am sure we both will agree on one basic precept – this must be one of best talent shows that India has ever witnessed.This post is about my perspective – someone whose mother tongue is not Tamil….and I am floored !!

If I had to do a comparative analysis of this show with some of the more popular ones (read: Meri Awaaz Suno® ,Zee Sa Re Ga Ma® and Indian Idol®) it would mean,me being brutally honest and in turn mean about what I believe is lacking in most of them.I would have to lie, to tell you that I agree with all the regulations and how the winners are selected. So I decided to try and summarize why I am so impressed with this one and not worry about the others so much … though I would love to get started ……!!

Judges:The judges on this show are singers.They are no music directors, not composers, ….they sing as a profession, every judge from the first day of screening till the grand finale.These are extremely talented artists who know every note, every bend and twist …and that makes all the difference. Unni Krishnan, Srinivas and Sujata have been the judges for the last few months with guest judges like Mano, Chitra, Karthik and Harini on the show. They have watched and listened to these talented individuals grow from unsure contestants to confident performers. They have encouraged them to improve on strengths and advised them on how to override weaknesses.For those of you who do not know who these three singers are – they are three artists who have lent their voices to ARR, several times and have some solid classical Carnatic musical background. The gamut of musical knowledge that they bring to the show should send a lot of others (read:judges on the other shows) into some serious self analysis (about judging skills).

Range:Contestants (whether they liked it or not) have been tried in every area – from classical, to rock n roll, to pop, to “gaana” style!! They have been asked to sing in groups and in duet combinations and have been tested as solo artists over several phases of the show. The music accompaniment has not been highly sophisticated (deliberate move to test talent) and any variations or experimentations from the contestants have been encouraged. Guest judges like Mahalaxmi Iyer have seen them do western numbers while Chinmaayi Sripada created magic with them on middle eastern tunes.During these episodes, contestants have had to go through some rigorous scrutiny and that is what helped build the final “four”. I have not witnessed so much variety in any other show which claims to honor good talent…..at least not in the Indian television world ..

Targets: According to me – This is a talent show which happens to boast of a huge audience, unlike an audience show which happens to entertain talent as one of the elements of publicity, (other than the zillion endorsements) that they tend to offer as the main theme.There is no propaganda other than the obvious mention of the key sponsor and the timed commercial breaks.The only promotions within the show are those that bring out another area of creativity which the contestants can improvise on – like singing romantic songs from the 70’s in costumes as becoming of that age.The effect is tremendous and you keep wanting more and more, rooting for your favorite contestant to win…even for someone like me who barely understands Tamil ……

Unlike what this post seems like, I am not a spokesperson for the mobile phone company.I am just someone who loves music and was floored by this show….in a world where everything is all about “enhancements” here is something which screams of honesty and true talent …. keep up the good work guys !!

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