Several years ago, in the days when our black and white – 21″Onida® television used to be in the corner of our mosaic floored living room,a movie was released – Albert Pinto Ko Gussa Kyon Ata Hain. A very Thoughtful Train tagged me, which pretty much means that it is time to roll out the sequel – LEB Ko Gusso Kyon Ata Hai …. (Why Rage is Wheat Flour to LEB !!) …..or something like that !!
So let’s get started on ten things which tick me on/off, depending on what kind of mood I am in before the activity ….not in any order of preference …(not like, I stand near the annoyance menu – trying to make up my mind on what would be a good “piss me off” situation at that moment in time) … you get the picture …
i) I “nourish” intense dislike towards any kind of wastage, especially food.One of the trigger moments is when people waste food at a buffet meal. If you really wanted to “just get a taste”, you did not need to sky high the serving on the ladle.If you claim that you like your chutney fresh (read: throw away few hours old chutney) each time you floor the dosa on the pan , you better not be within audible distance – I will give you a “mouthful”.You do not need to be a brain surgeon to know that if you cook(or take), just enough, you will not waste…..
ii) “Babu Moshai…bhalo achhi??….bhalo bashi ??….rosogolla,” (eclectic elements from the Bengali vocabulary).I am stupefied at how,when certain people (when they find out about my roots) use at least one of these words to try and establish a connection with the alien(that would be me).And then they proceed to confirm – “you must love fish”.After having tried to explain – “not really, contrary to what you may think, not all Bengalis look forward to be canned with tuna in oil/water” ……it has now become ….”O yeah, matter of fact I am chewing on one right now. I even use sardines as mouth wash while I waltz around saying “bhalo bashi (love you)” to random people.” If only I could – I would go back to Hrishikesh Mukherjee and ask him to “find” and “replace” …all the “Babu Moshai”(s) with Doctor Saab throughtout the movie…
iii) According to me there is nothing as “just news” reporting anymore (O.K. maybe one – MSNBC®).It is all about the special effects (read :magic wall) and glamorous presentation.There is no need for the reader/viewer to analyse – the news is caught, cleaned, processed and fed (in huge portions) to you in Dolby® effect and suddenly tragedy is not tragedy anymore.It could easily be custom fit to be part of a reality show (like in the movie) and we, the viewer need to sit through it just like my 10 month old has to, when we serve him baby food – content !
iv) I get annoyed when people tell me – “I eat veggie on Saturdays, my Saturn (the planet and not the car) has been bothering me” or “We do not serve meat during occasions like marriage etc.” So technically that would mean – “We do not mind killing animals on the other six days. And yes there are certain days when we choose not to pick up the sin tab”. To me that is selfish and hypocritical…..
v) Guns and news about gun related death riles me up (real bad).I have tried to vent and will probably keep doing the same, because that is all I can do within my capacity as just another member of the society.There is no justification good enough for anyone to think that it is O.K to walk into a public place (or anywhere) and start shooting.And to add insult to injury, the media loves stories like these where they will do the analysis for you and serve it to you in “iii” (above) style…
vi) “I am in this country for longer than you are, so let me enlighten you with some free advice. While I am at it, let me also judge you for being what you are, and for what you do not know you are.I shall be kind enough to judge your wife as well and provide you with some tips on how your relationship, (which you do not know, is not so great) can be improved” – I hate when people judge and provide free advice….but unfortunately it happens way too often. I do not judge anyone and do not take it upon myself to tell them how to run their life…kinda like Madhavan’s character in this Mani Ratnam classic …..
vii) Often times – I feel like I have “vulnerable to : being cheated,blamed and made to feel guilty” written all over me and that bothers me …a lot !! This trait of mine is a full service facility and I do not disappoint anyone – from the travel agent in Pune to Mr.Corporate Power. I take it to the next level when I am caught in domestic squabble and end up apologizing to everyone in sight, including the refrigerator for slamming “it’s”door….
viii) “Your son is a cross-breed“- this drives me up the highest wall in sight.And I am know that this will happen a lot in future (it started during my wife’s first trimester)….Bengali guy meets Telugu girl and the rest is “not” history…instead it is the reality (in the face of the parents) of being pointed out at how our son is going to be so confused – “how can parents conversing in English teach any Indian language to the baby” ..which is followed up with huge quantities of “vi” (above)….
ix) I absolutely detest “smoking” as a habit. I have no hatred towards smokers – cannot, since too many people that I like, belong to this “cancer” club.Just that it is annoying to realize how people with a coherent thought process can indulge in this poisoning…..
x) I am mad at the realization, that in spite of claiming that I “do not” judge anyone – I actually filled up the nine bullets. It is probably mere observation (read:self defense).So finally – I get turned off at “things that I am not good at” clearly missing out on the positives that I am gifted with.This is something which I have not been able to grow out of……still !!
Thank you for the tag The Thoughtful Train and apologies to all readers for a very exhausting post and for anything in the post which may be insensitive.These are just my thoughts and do not imply any political significance.
Like Ramesh, I am not tagging anyone.But if you think you want to be tagged …”go crazy” !!
After some serious contemplation (actually it is the first comment that did it), I do wish to tag some esteemed bloggers :
Rads: Would love to see what this very techno savvy blogger gets mad at….though I am not sure if she has already been tagged on this one before..!!
Adesh: We know you are on vacation, but on your return – this can be the first post (or the second) !!
Zillion Big : What annoys a passionate blogger like you, other than the state of affairs in India…!!
The offer is still open – for anyone who wants to get tagged….”go crazy” !!
Image Courtesy:here
LEB prancing around with sardines mouthwash and bhalo bhashi….That had me ROFL. It was totally worth tagging you! #6 takes the cake with us too. #8,( downright disgusting! Excellent post LEB – some of your miseries makes the rest of us laugh! Since I am new to the whole blogging thing, whats with the I-m-not-tagging anyone bit? Is that the new fashion? 😉
Glad you liked it …the best way (I guess) to dela with it is to look at the "funny side" (if any) of the whole thing…I am fairly new to bloggin' myself …thanks for the tag.
LOLS, extreme angry moments. hehe, sorry, but i enjoyed this.Lemme see, you have put me in trouble. Man, i dont even know 1 thing that makes me crazy anf talk about 10 ?. lemme see, :)))
No problem….glad to be of service !!
Oh God! not another tag, I thought these ended with my honest confessions post. Why didn't you just let it be like Ramesh did. LOL @ point #ii and nice to know ur married to a telugu girl, I'm telugu too.
leb- loved the pic..i totally 'got' points 2 4 and 6…
Oh – my wonderful net nanny has allowed me to comment on "Babu Moshai's" (he he) blog.Wonders will never cease.Blogueur – what a wonderful post. Funny and something I can hugely relate to; many of these are my pet hate moments too. Super read as always. And this time I can figure out your title perfectly !!! @ thoughtful train – Shhh don't tell anybody. This doesn't apply to our eminent blogueur, but the reason I started the "no tag" fashion is because, if you have only two readers and they've tagged you, who else do you tag ???!!! 🙂
@ all my dear blogger friends : thanks for your kind words….if not for your comments,I would not look forward to my next post…it is like we exist in our own blog space …@rads:she put a gun to my head ….lol
happy fatehr's day- do not have ur email id, hence using up this section..
Hey LEB, Wishing you a Happy Father'S!!
Thanks Ashwini.
Agree with you on point #2. Whenever my hosts are seized with heights of frenzied hospitality, they often resort to botched Bangla in order to impress me. Its often like -"Tumi kemon aachhe?" or "Tumi jol khachchhe?"Only if I could adequately translate "shuney pitti joley jaaye" into English, I'd probably have been able to express how I feel on such occasions.
Hahaha … "my intestines are on fire and then go away"..maybe something like that …thanks for the visit !!
Hi, first time on your blog. Came via visiting Zillionbig. actually I got attracted by your blogging namevery interesting post.i ditto most of your viewspeople think that by sacrificing certain things on certain days they are being religious.That means rest of the day they are anti religion?
Hi Anju ..thanks for the visit…hope to hear more from you in future ….
Hey LEB, long time no post. I check everyday for updates. Our daily fix of humour please? 🙂
Hahaha ….. groans and huffs and puffs at work .. last day at the support ..so "bee gee" at work ….but thanks so much for checking …keeps me inspired …
Hey i have responded to your Tag.Hope its ok. Check out.:))